Last year, during our December meeting of the Clutter Control group, we had a fun time bringing in and discussing items we had once been given as gifts that had since become clutter. I sincerely wish I had taken a picture of the items or at least written down what they were because for the life of me, I cannot remember what they were. But I guess that's the point. The gifts were nonspecific - generally items that were bought as placeholders. By placeholders I mean they served a purpose to fill a box to hand over as a gift. Wow. That sounds harsh, but we've all done it. What do you get Uncle John? He has everything. But we've got to get him something…right? The "somethings" that were brought in for discussion last year had life spans dating back 20 yrs. Some of them were never opened. The recipients did not need or want the items but they wanted to respect the fact that the item was a gift, so the items were slated for perpetual storage. Rather than being an item that filled a purpose or brought joy, the item became a vessel of guilt - fully missing the goal of giving. So what's the secret of giving the gift that blesses?
Heartfelt gifts are always best. Beware when hitting the quick gift isle, the clearance items left behind, or something by the register that gets frantically snatched up and wrapped for that placeholder. Very often these types of gifts exclaim hastiness and distance and do not make the desired impression. Avoid the crazy swapping of lists and get back into the spirit of giving. When you do, you will find there are no words to exclaim the joy created by giving an unsolicited gift that speaks specifically to their heart and truly brings you closer together. Notice, I said that the gift should speak to THEIR heart. Very often we will give a gift because it is an item WE want them to have. Sometimes that works, other times not so much. So how do you find the gift that blesses?
Years ago I read the book, "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. It's an excellent study of personalities that has improved more relationships than we will ever know. In his book, Chapman defines five primary ways people give and receive love. They are: acts of service, physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time and finally, gifts. When considering your giving, notice that 4 of the 5 ways people receive love are NOT through the act of receiving a gift. This is very interesting and illustrates the fact that very often the best gifts aren't wrapped. (They are also less likely to become clutter!) You can usually get a strong sense of a persons' love language by looking at their interactions with others. Chapman states that generally people express love in the same manner in which they receive it.
So this holiday season, take a deep breath, consider your gift list carefully and intentionally select gifts that bless instead of fulfill an obligation. To get your creativity cooking, I've listed a few clutter free gift ideas for each love language below. May you and your families be blessed this holiday season with gifts speaking your love language and bringing you closer together.
Love Language Clutter Free Gift Ideas
Acts of Service Homemade coupon book, Car wash gift card, Cook a nice meal
Physical Touch Massage gift certificate, Foot rub
Words of Affirmation Handwritten letter detailing how that person impacts your life
Quality Time Lunch for two, walk in the woods, weekend getaway
Gifts Donations to favorite organizations, Homemade food items
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